I'm No Predator

I responded to a casting call yesterday, August 7th. The notice began as follows.

"I am filming a short, ten minute film entitled 'Dialing Amy.' In the film, a young girl left all alone in a hotel room, receives phone calls from a predator. Will she fall into his clutches or not? I am looking for: 1) two people to play dead bodies; 2) one eight year old girl (lead role); 3) one man to play the villain (predator); 4) one voice over."

So, counting two dead bodies, one 8-year-old girl, one villain, and one voice over there were five parts total and of the five parts, theoretically, I could be suitable for four since I could never be a vil ... I mean an 8-year-old girl.

A couple of hours after I emailed my request to audition for the film I received an email back from Lexer Kadan. She wrote, "Call me and you can audition over the phone. I am attaching the script. Thanks, Lexer."

I immediately printed out the script and read it. By the time I got to the end I realized that there were actually only two roles that I could possibly play -- the villain and the voice over.

When I called Lexer's number she answered and asked me to read the part of "Man," the villain. She read Amy's part and we went through three or four pages of dialogue before she told me I wasn't right for the part. She wanted a deeper voice.

Before hanging up, she said she would keep me on file for future films. Meanwhile, I'll be working on developing a deeper voice ... if I can figure out how!

MAYBE IF I SPEAK IN ALL CAPS? No, that's just louder.

Time to go check for more casting calls.

No News is ... Good News?

The saying goes, "No news is good news," but when you're waiting for a callback that doesn't come then no news is bad news. Friday came and went without a word from the casting director of Sodom: The Prophecy Armageddon. I guess I'll look on the bright side: I got a little more experience at auditioning. C'est la vie.

Some other casting calls that I responded to with a request to audition didn't generate a reply. They included: "Wasteland," a feature film looking for a white male in good physical condition age from late 50’s to 60’s; and a credit union commercial that was looking for "unusual Types, 40s - mid 50s, any ethnicity, for comic bit (probably works 2 days), shooting starts about 8/12/09. Pay is $500.00 per day." Okay, I'm a little old for that last one, but sometimes they are flexible on age, and for $1,000.00 I'll act like a 20-year-old.

Oh, yeah, at the last minute I applied to be an extra in a short film, "FourPlay." The director emailed me back and said they had all the extras they needed, but I am first alternate if someone can't make it. No money involved, but I need to keep padding the acting résumé. He said he'd let me know by tomorrow night (Tuesday) if he needs me for the late-night shoot on Wednesday, August 5th.

I also saw a notice for a free improv workshop tonight. I'm not sure if I'll make it, but, hey, it's free and probably worth every penny.

And lastly, Friday Night Lights posted a notice that they were beginning to audition football players and cheerleaders. Next they'll audition coaches and boosters. They don't hold auditions for fans. If you're breathing and can make it to the stadium you can be a fan -- no acting required. The good news is that they pay you. The bad news is that (at least for last season) the pay was only $56.00 for up to eight hours, and time-and-a-half for anything over eight hours. Some days started around 3 or 4 pm and went until 2 or 3 the next morning. Those stadium seats get very hard after ten to twelve hours. Do that for three straight days/nights and your butt will never speak to you again -- unless you keep eating those cheap burritos.

I Have No Son By That Name!

My most recent audition was the most unlikely role of an elderly Jewish man.

When I received the phone call on Thursday evening, July 23rd, I asked the caller (Chloe), the casting director, to repeat what she had just told me (either my phone was breaking up or my brain was). She said the producers of "Sodom: The Prophecy Armageddon" had a headshot of me on file and wanted me to come in on Friday, July 24th, at 11:10 am to audition for the part of "Pop" Rosenberg, a sixty-eight year-old Holocaust survivor. "Huh, me?"

"Pop" is the father of a lead character, Galen, in the feature-length film, "Sodom: The Prophecy Armageddon." The film is a pilot for a possible future HBO movie or series.

I arrived at the Homestead Suites on S. 1st St in Austin at 10:45 am and was handed one page of the script. On this page the Role of "Pop" had one line, two sentences, 19 words.

As I read those words I kept wondering how I could possible create the character of "Pop" Rosenberg. Obviously, I was in waaay over my head. I was confident I could learn those two sentences in a few minutes, but there was no way to master a Jewish accent. I could do a better Donald Duck than "Pop" Rosenberg.

I was sitting in the hallway just outside the meeting room where the audition would take place. The front desk of the hotel was withing eyesight -- and earshot. Plus, vacationing families were constantly scurrying by. There was no way I would consider any audible attempts at speaking the lines with the required accent.

In a strange way I was relieved when the door opened and a young woman invited me in. I was introduced to a gentleman whose name and title I can't recall. If only I'd had the chance to repeat them fifty or so times I could recall them now, so under the circumstances I'll just refer to him as the director.

The director briefed me on the context of my line: Galen knocks on the door and says, "Hey, Pop, it's me, Galen." "Pop," who is angry, hurt, and sad that his son is an alcoholic and a homosexual, opens the door and speaks his line.

My first reading was a little over-the-top, stressing words hard, lots of volume and gestures: "I have NO son by THAT name! MY son, the GOOD Jew, would NEVER live the lifestyle YOU chose."

The director then told me to do it again and this time as if "Pop" doesn't want the neighbors to hear him. Also, I'm supposed to make it more sad than angry (but still hurt).

Remember, I'm doing these readings in my natural voice to get the role of a Jewish man. It didn't sound very convincing from inside my own head.

After the audition I told the director that if I didn't get the part I would like to be an extra in the film (I'm showing lots of confidence here, right?)

He said, "You are in a strong position because you look like you could be the father of the actor playing Galen." When I asked about my lack of an accent he said it wouldn't be a problem as they would work with me on that.

We stood up, shook hands, and as I turned to leave he said that he would be narrowing the choices down withing a week and have callbacks next Friday, July 31st.

I'm not sure if I'm scared I'll won't get the part or that I WILL get the part.

"Oy vey!"

I Guess I'll Live

Yesterday I received an email saying that I didn't get the role of the old politician in the marketing video. I didn't expect to get it anyway. I just don't look like an old politician. Old, yes; politician, no.

As usual they reject you with boilerplate text.

"Piryx would sincerely like to thank you for your participation in the Piryx marketing video. Unfortunately, we are taking our video in a different direction but think you would be great in our future projects. Thank you for sharing your talent and we hope to contact you sometime in the future for roles in upcoming videos!"

They never say you are not a good enough actor. Really sweet. I guess I'll live ... there's always tomorrow.

I replied to another casting call yesterday. I keep scanning the calls looking for any role for a male 50 or over. This one is an unnamed, low-budget feature. They are casting 3 Old Timers for a bar scene, and a Country Market Owner (older male, some physical acting necessary).

Marketing Videos, Training Videos, A Movie, Oh My!

Yesterday I responded to casting calls for three projects: one provides meals and a DVD copy of the finished copy; one just provides meals during shooting as compensation; and one pays $350.00 per day (1-3 days). All three have one thing in common - the opportunity to get more experience and pad my résumé.

I received a reply to the first one today. The call was put out by the UT McCombs Business School for a series of marketing videos for a local software start-up company. I tentatively have an appointment to do an informal reading on Monday, July 6th. I will be reading for "Older Caucasion male: mid-forties to sixties, sophisticated, but not quite 'plugged into' what all that technology has to offer him." Guess I'll have to act sophisticated.

The second one was a call for approximately 30 extras for a short film to be shot in Giddings. The shooting is scheduled for the last half of July.

The last - and juciest - call is for actors for a series of training videos which will also include some still photography. The roles are of blue-collar manufacturing workers and supervisors. A few roles may require overnight travel. There's no hint of how many actors they need. It would be really great to get this!

I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Cowboy Strange

I just finished a shoot for a movie trailer yesterday. It was an unexpected job, but I was grateful for the experience. I received a phone call from Jacob Walinski (a name I didn't recognize at the time) who told me I had been a background extra in a short film he produced last summer. He said he saw my headshot and wanted me for the role of "Emmett." (sometimes a "look" trumps talent) Hooray!

I don't know the whole story, since the trailer only has selected scenes, but basically, Cowboy Strange is a tough cowboy who comes to town and is beaten up by a group of men. Emmett is a farm-type who befriends him. As Emmett I was in three scenes, but had only one line (3 words).

The best part was that I got to wield a shotgun ... or at least a prop that looked amazingly real.

It was a great day even though the temperature was over 100. Everyone associated with the production was great -- we all suffered through the heat and consumed mass quantities of water ... and just between you and me, I had one tiny frozen margarita during a break.

Thanks to all the crew and cast for making me feel at ease. And a special thanks to the City of Manor police for allowing us to shoot a scene using the Police Department.

The first photo below shows Emmett working on a weed trimmer while ignoring the heat, the mic boom operator, and Jocob. Note to self: old bathtubs do not make comfy seats.

The second photo shows most of the cast and crew taking a break from the intense sun.

Wrap Party (better late than never)

There were several exciting moments at the wrap party. The first occurred when Leandra, the host and creator of the film, handed me a space-age cork remover for the unopened bottle of white wine (after she unsuccessfully tried to open the bottle). I took one look at the opener and decided I didn't have the required mechanical engineering knowledge to figure it out. Next to try was Emmett, Lenadra's assistant in the Delusions production. He struggled to make it work for a few minutes before another person tried, also unsuccessfully.

By this time the consensus was that the cork had been torn up to the point that nothing was going to work and I was wishing I hadn't requested wine. I should have said, "I think I'll have a beer." Eventually, however, someone procurred a low-tech, old-fashioned corkscrew from a neighbor. You just can't beat the "tried and true."After pouring myself a glass of wine I wandered through the livingroom past the lead actress (Chloe) and the Director of Photographer (Whit) and into the bedroom where Emmett was making copies of the film for everyone present. Chloe, who wasn't feeling well, grabbed her copy and left. Hope she has recovered from too much celebrating or whatever.

Soon all copies were done and the five remaining party-ers watched the film and the outtakes. It was a well-done film and Leandra is to be congratulated. Further acclaim came from her instructor who awarded her an "A" for the project.

For awhile, we reminisced about incidents that happened during the two days of shooting. When the conversation began to slow down I brilliantly suggested that maybe the assembled throngs would like to watch my stand-up comedy routine (luckily I had brought the file on a USB drive that was conveniently located in my pocket). After a lot of pushing and shoving I had everyone rounded up in front of the computer and my video began. Everyone laughed at all the right times and I received a standing ovation at the end. Well, maybe not everybody stood up. Okay, I admit it, they just said they liked it ... a little. That's all the encouragement I need to plow ahead with my planned (and half-written), second routine.

It's Party Time!

We (myself and the rest of the cast and crew of the short student film "Delusions") are going to party this Saturday night.

Here's a quote from the invitation sent out by Leandra, the show's creator and director:

Hey everyone! I'm having a wrap party for Delusions this Saturday! I should be done with the final version of the film by then so we can all watch it together! And whoever wants a DVD can get one. By the way, it's looking awesome so far! Couldn't have done it without all of you. So I want to have a party to thank you all for your hard work. So come have some drinks, see the film, and congratulate yourselves on a job well done!

I can hardly wait ... just me and a dozen or so 18- to 22-year-olds (unless some parents show up). I did enjoy working with this group. Actually, I probably enjoyed working with them more than they liked having an old guy like me hanging around. I'll take my camera and maybe I'll post a pic or two with my next post.

I can't wait to see the finished film. I can't even imagine the amount of work involved in editing even a 5 minute film.

A Favorite Quote

"It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better ... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more." ~ Woody Allen

Police Officer, "oui;" Sheriff, "non"

Okay, time to get caught up with what's happened during the past few days.

On April 13th I auditioned for the role of a retired sheriff in the student film, "Ringworm," a farce/parody/hybrid of "The Ring" and "Tremors." I didn't get the role, but I was notified in a very nice way:

"Thank you so much for coming to our audition yesterday, it was a real pleasure to meet you! Although you did an outstanding job and gave an amazing performance my partner and I have decided to go in a different direction for this particular project. Please do not let this dissuade you from auditioning for us in the future and we wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors."

I think that is boilerplate text that all student directors are required to use when notifying actors they did not get the role. "Sob, sob, boo hoo."

The other role that I auditioned for I did get. It was in a student film called "Delusions." I played a cop with probably 5 to 10 seconds of screen time. Just long enough to rush and disarm the kidnapper. In order to be more involved in the production I volunteered to take production stills during breaks in the filming. I also got to be the boom operator (I was disappointed to learn that it didn't involve creating loud noises.)

I had an audition on Thursday, April 25 for the role of Officer Dan. Yep, another Officer of the Law. This is a paid role for a feature film, "Killer School Girls from Outer Space." Sounds highbrow, doesn't it? It's going to be a cheesy, 1950s-style SciFi flick. A decision on the audition will not be made for 3 weeks. Stay tuned.

A Favorite Quote

"Be excellent to each other." ~ Bill and Ted from 'Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure'

Here are some stills from "Delusions."

Photo 1: A break during the filming of the kidnapping sequence. Photo 2: The Director of Photography and the film's Director consider the upcoming scene.

Doctor, Producer, DA, Psycho, Psychiatrist, etc.

One completed; six to be decided.

Monday night, 3/30. I received four emails over a period of several hours from the casting director of "Conflict of Interest" and each one had a different call time for the day's shoot in Kyle except the last one said that now they weren't going to use extras. On the plus side that enabled me to audition for "Sleep Therapy." I don't think I was "over-the-top" enough for the role of an intimidating psychiatrist.

Tuesday afternoon, 3/31. I got an email saying the shoot for "Sublime Intervention" was set for Saturday, April 4 from 11 am to 5 pm, then Tuesday night a got an email saying that the postponed shoot of "It's Complicated" has been rescheduled for the same day from 9 am to 5 pm.

Saturday, 4/4. The shoot for "Sublime Intervention" went smoothly -- thanks, John -- and I'm posting a couple of photos below. Now I can say, "I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV" (okay, so it's not TV; it's a short film -- big deal!). Regardless, it's tough when you have to tell a couple their baby just kicked the bucket. I tried to be diplomatic, but there's just no good way to do it.

Still haven't heard back from the director of "It's Complicated" after leaving him a message saying that I couldn't make the re-scheduled date for the shoot. It's too bad, because I was getting into the role of Ron, the producer of the TV show. I had my lines down pat, but the director of this film kept rolling the dice with my schedule and on the fourth try he coincided with "Sublime."

Sunday. Sent emails out requesting auditions for three different short films: "East of the Highway," as an ignorant, racist DA (going against type here, I think); "Silence of the Lambs," as Hannibal Lecter (how's that for biting off more than I can chew); and "Crazy Restaurant," as one of the crazies (okay, this one is a perfect fit).

The audition for "Silence" was just after 4 pm this afternoon and I got an 8-page script just before noon. Yeah, that's a lot of time to learn anything. I read the script twice then went online and found a clip of the scene from the movie and watched it twice, then went and tried to act like Anthony Hopkins in his Academy Award performance. Talk about acting like an actor. Whew!

A Favorite Quote

"The trouble with real life is that there's no danger music." ~ unknown

Top photo: Ray Perez as Clark, me as the Doctor, Allison Wood as the wife of Clark.
Bottom photo: Most of the crew including me, and John (far right) after wrapping for the day.

Negative Energy in the Ether

[Note: if this blog seems rambling and incoherent it's because I haven't completely recovered from hell day.]

Saturday was a day best forgotten, only I can't. It was like a bad dream, but I haven't had enough sleep lately to allow any dreaming. Nope, it was ugly reality.

It started waaaaay to early after not getting to bed until a few minutes before 1 am. I took some extra vitamin C before going to bed hoping to ward off whatever was making my throat sore and scratchy. I tossed and turned for two and a half hours before getting up in utter frustration. My throat felt even worse than before, my nose was a little stuffy, and my eyes burned -- no, they weren't actually aflame; they only felt like it.

I spent the next few hours either working at the computer, wiping my watery eyes, or going over my lines for an 8 am call. As I wrote in my last blog, I learned the shoot was postponed only after I arrived at the TV studio, so I hijacked a Capitol Metro bus and told the driver to take me home, or else!

Back at the apartment things were about to get even uglier. Jocelyne, my "petite amie," discovered her car wouldn't start. I helped her remove the battery so she could use my car to take it to Auto Zone to be tested while she ran some errands.

Meanwhile, I began gathering some things to take to the 4 pm shoot. After about an hour she returned to tell me that she had been in an accident and damaged my car. She was okay other than being shaken by the experience. Plus, she was distraught that she had damaged my car. The damages were minor and hardly noticable, but understandably she felt bad.

The later it got, the worse I felt. I was determined, though, to carry on since I played a central role in both skits. I, along with Sami, another member of the group, arrived before the call time at Scott's place. The other member, Kat, was unavoidably detained and arrived much later.

For about an hour we worked on a new script for the first skit and I began my ill-fated attempt at learning my lines. I could hardly read through my teary eyes, but it helped a smidgen when Scott printed my lines out in 24 point type. However, nothing helped penetrate the fog that surrounded my brain.

We proceeded, nontheless, with me reading my lines during the shooting, pretenting I was working on forms while seated at a desk. In my opinion it was a less-than-successful attempt. If only I'd had a day to familiarize myself with the script...

Everything considered, we decided to postpone shooting the second skit until our regular meeting on Monday.

By the time we wrapped I had a headache to add to my list of woes. It was a very stressful drive home with such impaired vision. At home I took a couple of pain tablets, more vit. C, and a snack of toast and cheese. While waiting for the pain meds to kick in I diverted myself with some computer solitaire then fell into bed about 12:30 and quickly lost consciousness. ZZZZZZZZZZZ...

A Favorite Quote

"It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens." ~ Woody Allen

It's Complicated

I went to the University of Texas Student TV studio for the scheduled shoot this morning. Took the bus and arrived 15 minutes before the scheduled start time of 8 am. I began to get worried when no one had shown up by 8:10 so I called Donavan, the producer, and apparently woke him up. He said he called me last night, but my phone was disconnected. Apparently he mis-dialed the number and, consequently, I didn't get the word that the shoot had been postponed to a yet undecided date and time. Apparently some of the cast couldn't make it at the scheduled time.

This event brought into focus a fact that is obvious once examined. Unpaid actors are not very motivated nor committed -- at least not like they would be if a paycheck were involved. And, all student films that I am aware of use student as actors unless an older person is needed for a particular role. And, as we all know, stuff happens.

I just hope I don't have a conflict when the next shoot is scheduled. My calender has a few other shoots that I am committed to, but as I've learned they may change, also.

My other job for today also got changed, but only by an hour. The improv group is meeting to come up with ideas to improve our skits from last Monday's shoot. We'll spend some time brainstorming then reshoot the skits. I really like these guys. I can't wait to see a finished video.

PS: When you see the video you'll know why I had such a good time filming.

A Favorite Quote

"I've had a wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." ~ Groucho Marx

Bad News; Good News

First the bad news. Due to a scheduling conflict I'll be unable to participate in "Vigilante Justice" as an extra. I'm disappointed as I like the idea of being in a female vigilante movie. Here is a portion of the email I received from creator Brooklyn Duell on Wednesday:

"If anything changes I'll let you know and if your schedule changes to allow you to be on set that day...let me know...we'd love to have ya."

They'd love to have me? Hearing that elevated my spirits considerably ... almost as much as a couple of frozen margaritas followed by a couple of hot senoritas.

The good news is that I got an email late Wednesday saying I was selected to be an extra in the feature film "Conflict of Interest" as an elderly campaign worker. It's not a paid position, but I will get a credit in the film, which means I will be on imdb.com at some point. Woo hoo! At this stage of my new "career" it doesn't take much to excite me. Here's a little of what the confirmation email said:

"You've been chosen based on your look or potential to look like ... (an elderly, conservative campaign worker)"

Okay, so I AM elderly. At least they got that part right. But this supports my theory that, at least at this level of acting, looks are more important than any acting ability. Also, the first quote above says they'd love to have me, but everything they know about me they learned from a headshot that I sent to them. Obviously, in these two instances, they're mainly going for a certain "look." I'm figuring that it's the smooth dome that makes me standout among all the headshots they look at.

So, I guess that puts the odds in my favor as there are lots more people with hair than ones that are naked on top. On the other hand, there are fewer roles for baldies. Hmmmm...

A Favorite Quote

"In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you." ~ Jack Handey

A Fun Evening at the Improv

Monday, Mar. 23, turned into a long night as four skits were performed and taped, three of which I participated in. The participants last night consisted of Scott, the creator/producer/director/camera man, etc.; Katt, a femme fatale type; Sami, a sexy, smart secretary type; Jerry, an everyman/businessman type, and myself, a bald, old guy type. See photos below shot during the evening. The first one involves a standoff between a two-bit detective (me) and a desperate potential client (Sami). The second one is of Sami (who will be off camera during taping, Katt (as the sexy devil) and Jerry (as the smartest man in the world who outsmarts the devil). The green background will be digitally replaced with an appropriate background by Scott.

Other projects I'm involved in are moving ahead and some shooting schedules are being firmed up regarding the dates my scenes will be shot. The calendar is being updated to reflect this as I get the information.

I've also responded to another casting call for a student film about a female vigilante. I'm just waiting for more details at this time. And I've responded to a feature film about a mysterious object that influences the progress of humankind. It is possessed by a 72-year-old man whose days are numbered. Sounds interesting.

A Favorite Quote

"Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking." - J. C. Watts

Improv Group Audition

I have been invited to attend a meeting of an improv group here in Austin that meets every Monday night to work on skits. The group's focus is on producing videos for entering competitions with prizes ranging up to $27,000 and possibly more. The productions are mostly comedic in nature.

Here's a quote from the invitation to audition I received:

"We'll probably make up a couple of skits and see how your range is. (angry, sad, manic, cold, playful, etc.) and your ability to riff on dialog."

Production resources for the group include costumes, props, special effects, and a greenscreen.

Next Monday night should be an interesting experience. This sounds like something I would like to be involved in. I hope I show enough promise to become a member of this troup. Regardless of outcome, I learn from each audition and, hopefully, improve with each one.

A Favorite Quote:

"Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due." -- William R. Inge

New Business Card Design

Here is the design of my new business card. I'd like your feedback, especially any suggestions on how to improve it.

Things Have Slowed Down

Things had been happening at a furious pace for awhile, but there is now a lull. It actually came at a good time as I was beginning to feel overwhelmed. I have been using the time to work on some things I should have been doing all along, but it all happened so fast I let a lot of things slide. Below is a summary of what I've been working on for the past week or more.

Two or three weeks ago I created a database of each casting call I was responding to, but I wasn't keeping it updated. I've had to go back through old emails, notes on scraps of paper, and web pages I've saved to compile the data I needed. But now I know the status of each project. I track the date I responded, the contact information, a description of the project, date I received a reply (if any), compensation (if any), and notes. Notes contain such things as: role I am interested in, audition dates and times, shooting schedule, etc. For student films compensation is usually meals and/or credits and/or a DVD.

Also, during this lull, I have been googling "free acting lessons" to find out what I should already know. Believe me, it's a lot!

I've learned that the format and contents of my resume' are all wrong. So, that's something I'll be working on in the next few days.

I've found articles about how to prepare for an audition. Yep, I've been doing that all wrong, too. There are also articles about how to learn and remember lines.

I've also been working on a business card that reflects my newly discovered interest in acting and performing stand-up comedy. I'm using some headshots from the DVD of my debut stand-up routine. Once I get it done, I'll post the image in this blog.

And, during this slowdown in activity I've been practicing my lines for "It's Complicated" which will be my first time to speak in a film production, or to be more precise, a TV production.

In retrospect, the one thing that's become obvious to me is that student filmmakers are so desperate to get unpaid "actors" to be in their films they will take almost anyone with a pulse. Up to now I've done everything wrong, yet I'm still getting some film work. But, I know that to land any paying gigs I need to start "acting like an actor" instead of just acting like an actor.

A Favorite Quote

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." ~ Albert Einstein

A Little More Emotion, Please

I had my audition for the short student film, "Illegal Crossing" late yesterday, Mar. 8. After it was over I felt like I could have done a better job. The scene was dramatic and deserved more emotion that I delivered. I guess my feelings are justified given that this was the first audition I'd done that required such strong emotions. Still, I am less than satisfied with myself.

In an email, Allen Ho, the creator/director/producer et. al, said he is considering me for the role of Frank, an older rancher in south Texas who, apparently, hires illegal migrants from across the border to work on his ranch.

Not having seen a script I only got a vague idea of the context of the audition scene. What I do know is that there are at least three men and a body in it. The role of "body" was a non-speaking one at this point. In the role I am reading -- not the role of Frank -- I am holding a gun on a worker arguing with him about whether or not we should report the killing of another worker laying on the ground. When I look away he grabs the gun...

In my mind there are advantages to doing a cold reading in an audition. Mainly, in a cold reading the expectations can't be as high (I hope), plus you do not have to spend any time memorizing lines and trying to guess what the director will be looking for in the characterization. So I'm not sure which is worse, the pressure of having to read lines you've never seen, or the pressure of flubbing lines you are expected to know. I don't look forward with gleeful anticipation to either scenario, but I believe I am a little more relaxed for the cold readings so far.

More Casting Calls

I sent off 3 more emails this morning in response to casting calls posted on the internet. One was for an independent film, "Conflict of Interest." Another, as yet untitled, student film is about a series of intimate moments with an elderly man as he spends a day by himself grieving over a lost companion. This casting call was posted on Feb. 17, so it is likely already cast.

The third casting call was for a 3-minute trailer that will be used to raise money for production of an independent film. The synopsis: In a small town in Texas where nothing ever happens, something is brewing. "Beer Train - An Intoxicating Comedy."

Before I could get this posted I found another casting call for a shoot on 3/11 & 3/14, yep, this week. The headline on this one was: Cheech and Chong DVD (The Making of): Featured Extras and Background Extras Needed. That got my interest real quick for a couple of reasons. First of all, I was a big fan of Cheech & Chong back in their heyday, and secondly the two words "featured extras." I have learned that featured extras often have a line or two and get paid more than "background extras." Woo Hoo! Money, dinero, greenbacks. And everybody wants to go green these days. Moi included.

A Favorite Quote

"You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses." - Ziggy

Sometimes All You Need Is Luck

I went to a scheduled second audition for "It's Complicated" on 3/6. Director/producer/creator Donavan Starghill told me he was casting me in the role of Ron. Ron is the producer of the "show in a show" and is scheduled to be in the first three of four episodes. Ron, who is written to be 40+ years old, is older than the other characters who are mostly in their early twenties.

Filming is scheduled to start in about a week, although a definite date has not yet been set.

The series will be shot in the studios of TSTV (Texas Student Television), the only on-campus TV studio in the country that is owned and run by students. The series of four episodes will take four weeks to shoot. It will be available over-the-airways and on Time Warner Cable in the Austin area.

I'm getting a little concerned about overlapping schedules for this series and the film "Sublime Intervention" which will be shooting over a period of two weeks beginning the last week in March.

It will be an enlightening experience as well as a learning opportunity as I know nothing about how a TV series is shot.

It's been two weeks since my audition for "Upon a Midnight Clear" and I haven't heard back, so I'm guessing I didn't get a part in that film. Darn it. What does a guy have to do around here to get a role? I mean besides being able to act. Time to start saving up for acting lessons.

It's time to turn my attention to my next audition (for "Illegal Crossing")scheduled for tomorrow evening.

Up-To-Date with "Sublime Intervention"

I just received an email from John Jarzemsky, the director/producer of "Sublime Intervention." He requested my clothing sizes and told me he would soon take me to Lucy in Disguise to try on wardrobe items. I guess it's really going to happen. Gulp.

To bring everyone up to date, here's the chronology of this chapter of "Acting Like An Actor." The audition was to be held on Feb. 15, 6 days after I responded to a casting call posted on AustinActors.com on Feb. 9. On Feb 10 I received an email notifying me of the location of the audition.

I went to the audition planning to audition for the role of one of the homeless people, only one of whom has any lines. Despite that, we were told to bring a short monologue to read at the audition.

Homeless (male or female, all ages): 5 or 6 homeless men and women who are attending an outreach program at Clark's church.

I frantically searched for just the right monologue to read. The problem was I didn't know what was appropriate. I poked around on the internet, but found nothing that seemed right. I considered reading from my stand-up comedy routine, but ruled it out. I even considered reading the eulogy I had written for my recently deceased mother.

I fretted until the day of the of the audition before deciding on the eulogy. Yeah, that ought to be appropriate. But, it was somewhat humorous, so I thought, "What the heck!"

As I entered the studio and walked to the front where two people stood flanking a camera the doubts began to flood my thoughts and confuse my rational mind. I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience and watching myself walk into that darkened studio like a condemned man walking to the gallows. I began to think maybe I shouldn't have chased those two tabs of acid with a couple of margaritas an hour ago. Oh, well, too late now.

There I am, sitting in the studio with the director, an assistant, and the camera. He, the director -- not the camera, asked me what I brought to read. I can still see the look on his and his assistant's faces when I said, "I brought a copy of the eulogy I wrote for my mother's funeral service 3 weeks ago."

Then he asked me to read for the part of Tommy, the only homeless person with any lines. I didn't know whether to look up at the camera after reading each line, which caused me to lose my place, or to just keep my head down and read. I pursued the former tactic. Maybe it wasn't such a good plan as I felt like a bobble head doll on the dash of Bubba's pickup racing down a washboard road toward the local bar just minutes before closing.

After the reading was over the director said he would be contacting me later. Then, about a week later he called me and offered me the role of the doctor.

Doctor (male, middle-aged): Doctor who informs Clark and his wife of their miscarriage in flashback.

I will only be involved for one day of shooting around the end of this month or the first of next month.

Here's a synopsis of the short film.

Clark, a depressed, recovering-alcoholic preacher finds himself face-to-face with temptation in his local tavern one night in more ways than one! After striking up a conversation with a total stranger, Clark finds himself face-to-face with none other than Satan, himself. Through some harrowing revelations, Clark finds his already faltering faith growing weaker by the minute, and the Devil's proposed solutions more and more alluring. This is a dark, surreal journey into the world of faith or the lack thereof, and a cautionary tale about the dangers of hopelessness.

Whoopee! I'm gonna play a doctor in a film. The fact that I have no lines takes most of the pressure off. It also helped relieve the pressure of my very first audition. Soon I'll be able to say,"I'm not a doctor, but I play one in a film."

That's what I'm talking about!

"Collector of Sounds" Audition

Yesterday I auditioned for the role of Grandpa in the UT student film, "The Collector of Sounds." The director is Angela Torres Camarena. Filming will begin on 3/23.

For the audition I was required to do a cold reading from "Little Miss Sunshine." I haven't seen that movie, so I was flying blind but at least I was flying!

After the audition the director said that I hadn't been eliminated from consideration (translation: I didn't completely screw it up). Of course, as far as I know, I was the first person to audition for the role of Grandpa (Actually, I'm hoping no one else even auditions for the role). She said she would let me know something in about a week.

"The Collector of Sounds" is a story about a little girl who can make sounds with her voice that have healing powers. Her grandpa is dying and she desperately wants to help him. He, meanwhile, only wants to spend as much quality time with her as possible.

First Audition for a Speaking Role

I went to my first audition on Feb. 21, 2009 -- at least the first audition for a speaking role in a feature film. I was scared out of my wits! What was I doing? I have never taken any acting lessons and I have no experience. What was I thinking?

Upon arriving I noted about a dozen people in the waiting area. Most were going over scripts. They all looked as if they were waiting to be executed. One at a time, they entered, then after 15 or 20 minutes, exited the torture chamber -- or "audition room" as some people refer to it. My nerves had reached the point where I was shaking so badly I was afraid people would think I was having some kind of seizure. It's a good thing I wasn't holding a cup of scalding-hot coffee.

I kept myself occupied watching the parade of the "condemned" go marching by. I pictured myself being blindfolded and facing an unseen firing squad. Then it happened -- just as I had feared -- it was my turn. The excutioner beckoned me to follow him. I got up and strode confidently behind him, only twice stumbling over my own feet.

The executioner, or "director," introduced himself and indicated for me to sit on the "hot seat." Also present were the cameraman, an assistant director and three or four other people whose sole purpose was, I suspect, to make me even more nervous (as if that were possible!). The single, huge, unblinking eye of the camera was staring directly at me and the hot studio lights were giving me second degree burns on all areas of exposed skin! I was sweating like a black undercover agent at a KKK rally! The "nervous makers" were all staring at me, pencils poised above identical yellow pads of lined paper, to note every little thing I did wrong.

The director yelled "Roll camera!" then said to me, "Look into the camera and tell us your name and what role you are auditioning for." My first thought was, "Does he really want me to walk over there, open up the camera and look into it?" My second thought was, "What is my name?"

That's the point where everything went blank. I'm sure I looked like the proverbial "deer in the headlights." When my consciousness returned to my body I found myself trying to casually get my driver's license out of my back pocket to read the name on it -- or even see what state it was issued in. That could be a clue!

That's when the director broke my concentration and barked out the cues to the lines I was supposed to have memorized. I responded promptly with lots of "ummm"s and "uhhhh"s punctuated by numerous awkward silences. When it was all over about 3 hours later -- or 10 seconds, I'm not sure which -- the director shook my hand and said either "wood knob" or "good job." I couldn't tell which due to the buzzing in my head. Then he said he would notify me of his rejection -- or maybe he said "decision." Damn buzzing.

I felt like I had been staring into the sun for hours and couldn't see anything. I was drained of all my energy and felt like someone had removed every bone in my body. With Herculean effort I stood up and staggered out of the audition room like a drunken sailor with epilepsy. As casually as possible I lurched past all the other auditioners in the waiting area while proudly showing off the huge, wet circles under my arms. I had done it!

Or, as I think back on it ... maybe I had been abducted by aliens and been subjected to their hideous psychological and physical examinations over a period of several weeks. I'll probably never know.

Acting Like An Actor

Acting like an actor? What does that mean?

Does acting like an actor make me an actor? As the TV ad goes, "I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV." That would seem to indicate that it takes more than acting like an actor to become one. But does the act of acting make me a defacto actor? It would seem to. But if acting is synonomus with pretending, that implies I'm not an actor (or I wouldn't have to pretend), yet by the very act of acting, itself, it would seem I've become one.

This whole idea makes my brain hurt. I'm not sure I want to expend the energy to figure it out. Regardless, I plan to continue to act like an actor or at least act like I think an actor would act. All of this is making about as much sense as the old Abbott and Costello routine, "Who's on First." My motto is, "If you can't make sense, at least try to be funny." I hope to do more of the latter.

I should have started this blog last August ('08) when, on a whim, I responded to a notice on craigslist.com requesting "extras" for the TV show Friday Night Lights. I had been looking for a part-time job to supplement my Social Security check for months. I didn't want an office job. I wanted something with variety, something different, something challenging.

Being an extra in a network TV series seemed to fit the bill. I was in various scenes all 13 episodes before the editing knife so deftly removed most traces of my having been there. Dammit!

I will document my trip down this path at each step as it happens. However often that is. I will also, at times, fill in the back story which dates back to my debut as a stand-up comic on March 27, 2006.

But before documenting the Friday Night Lights experience I am going to relate the experience of my first audition for a speaking role, that happened on Feb. 21, 2009.

That will be the subject of my next post. See you then,

Gary

PS: Thanks, Susan, for inspiring me to start this blog. Or, maybe, curse you Susan for getting me into this mess. We'll see as time goes on.